Welcome to another addition of “Historical Inaccuracies”! Today I’ll be
Somebody has to be at the bottom. According to Rotten Tomatoes, these eleven films were the absolute worst of the worst in 2014. You can expect to see your usual suspects, from Nicolas Cage to Adam Sandler, and a few duds in between…
11. Rage: 14% on the Tomatometer – Who knew this Niclas Cage action flick even existed? Film critic Nikola Grozdanovic said of the film: “Tired, lazy, incongruous, shocking and hilarious in all the wrong places, “Rage” is destined for the graveyard television slot, squeezed between infomercials for mops. Perhaps there is a good drinking game in here somewhere.”
10. Blended: 14% on the Tomatometer – It’s no surprise that an Adam Sandler movie would be on this list. There are usually at least two Sandler films in a calendar year worthy of this list. “Adam Sandler’s astonishing run of bottom-of-the-barrel comedies continues with Blended” wrote critic David Nusair.
9. Winter’s Tale: 13% in the Tomatometer – This strange and failed romantic fantasy film has some serious tar power, including Russelll Crowe and Colin Farrell to name a few. Peter Travers on the film: “Winter’s Tale is preposterous twaddle. Use it as a date movie only if you don’t love the one you’re with.”
8. The Nut Job: 10% on the Tomatometer – Here is the second film on this list I have never seen nor heard of, but it does in fact exist… Critic John Beifuss called The Nut Job “A tired assembly of the expected celebrity voices (Liam Neeson is a despotic raccoon) and already dated pop-culture references (the end credits feature an animated version of Psy leading the cast of animals in a dance-along to ‘Gangnam Style’).”
7. Vampire Academy: 9% on the Tomatometer – This is an example of a film trying to capitalize on the teenage vampire phenomenon and missing the trend by about two years. Critic Glenn Dunks said “Rarely have I felt such disconnect between material and the actors tasked with performing it as I did with Mark Waters’ Vampire Academy.”
6. Grace of Monaco: 9% on the Tomatometer – Nicole Kidman? Tim Roth? A film about Grace Kelly? And it’s this bad? That’s a feat almost impossible to pul off. Critic Stephne Dalton said the film “is almost perversely impressive how Dahan misses almost every target and squanders almost every opportunity.”
5. A Haunted House 2: 8% on the Tomatometer – There was a sequel to A Haunted House? According to Bilge Ebiri, “‘A Haunted House 2’ is not a movie. It is a nervous breakdown.”
4. Are You Here: 7% on the Tomatometer – Yet another film nobody has ever heard of, but a film with talented actors like Owen Wilson, Zach Galifianakis, and Amy Poehler. Critic Max Nicholson said “In the end, Are You Here isn’t quite funny enough to be a comedy, nor does it take itself seriously enough to be a drama. I would say that it’s a dramedy, but the tone is so erratic that it doesn’t really fit in that category either.”
3. The Legend Of Hercules: 3% on the Tomatometer – This is the OTHER Hercules film, the one not featuring Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. And apparently, it’s even worse… “There’s nothing here to engage the viewer or make them care one iota about what’s occurring on the screen, making it no wonder that this got dumped into theaters in the middle of January,” said critic Jeff Beck.
2. I, Frankenstein: 3% on the Tomatometer – This ugly, forgettable attempt at a character reboot is pure trash on the highest level. Glenn Dunks on the film: “Devoid of any appeal that isn’t concentrated around star Aaron Eckhart’s impeccably-sculpted muscles, this effects-laden lump of cinematic coal is as nonsensical and ill-conceived as it is boring.”
1. Left Behind: 2% on the Tomatometer – We begin and end with none other than Nicolas Cage. From action garbage to religious miscalculation, Cage can do it all! Critic James Berardinelli ripped the film, saying “Not only is this an amateurish travesty combining fundamentalist Christian eschatology with disaster movie b.s., but it’s plodding and tedious.”